Winter Break

Hi, folks --



Don't post a response, but here are your reminders for Winter Break.



1. Relax.

2. Read your Literary Research Book. If you are not in love, contact me before halfway through break so we can discuss other options.

3. Reread the argument chapter of Patterns

4. Create a 1-2 page rhetorical analysis of an advertisement (and this can be a political campaign) addressing the following...

• Purpose


• Appeal


• Audience


• Evidence/credibility -- fact vs opinion


• Fallacies


• Deductive or inductive reasoning

We'll take a look at these ads when you get back to class, so bring the ad with to class, and then you'll develop your analysis a bit more that night, considering diction, syntax, effectiveness. If you want to be a go-getter and do this over break, feel free.

5. Read advertisement on page 582 and The Declaration of Independence in argument chapter for Tuesday after break.

6. Relax some more.

How to be an Assistant Principal

Being an assistant principal is among the most strenuous and unappreciated jobs. However, a truly good assistant principal will know exactly how to conduct his or herself so as to relieve the everyday pressures of this important position.

First of all, make sure you remind everyone that you are the assistant principal, because clearly, the sign above your door which reads "Assistant Principal's Office" is not enough. Even your name tag, labeled assistant principal, will not always work as expected. Everyone needs to be reminded sometimes, and no one will mind.


Also, when writing passes for people recieving two detentions, be sure to draw a smiley face on each one. This will confuse foolish freshman, and immediately alert upper classmen to their plight, allowing everyone a good laugh, except the freshman, but they don't count one way or the other. Misleading new students is simply another part of your job, and anyone who does it will will even be able to pin on some extra detentions for insubordination.

Finally, having done your job as best you can, give yourself a pat on the back, and celebrate by constructing a large, unsightly office. Location doesn't matter, really, but the more trafficked the area, the better. That way everyone will see your office, and more importantly you'll get that oh so important ego booster that every Assistant Principal needs. This also serves to bemuse and confuse.

Metaphor

The stream of life trickles by,

the moments drip dripping.

Life flows by,

overcoming each stone.


Yet through the unity,

each prick leaves a ripple,

touching every drop,

until it is a wave,

crashing upon the

rocky shores

at the bottom of the fall.

How could I have made this metaphor more comprehensive?

How apt is this metaphor in describing life's intricacies?

Revision

I think I would add more lines and description to my poem to help the flow. I might try adding rhymes or stanzas to help with the transition from fall to winter.

Revesion Thoughts

If I were to revise my piece, I would change the line discussing fear, and I would insert a line or two that discusses the break between healthy determination and counterproductive determination. I would also discuss how determination is connected to failure, and I would re-arrange the last line to help the reader understand the whole meaning of the piece better.

Metaphor Revision...

I would add more lines to the metaphor. Also more parts to a rollarcoaster to make it resemble life better. I would spend a little more time on it... and possibly make it rhyme better.

extended metaphor revision

If I could revise this piece, I think I'd first change it into a consistant rhythmic pattern and then make the rhymes a tad more consistant too. I'd omit/ change around some of the lines in the poem maybe, and flirt with the idea of adding more lines to it. I'd try to use more literature devices like alliterations and more similes within the metaphor.

A dream is a cloud

A dream is a cloud
suspended upon airy words
and wispy memories
it will flow through your mind
like a legion of swords
it can blot out the sun
and rain it down upon everyone
it's made out of a pasty gray
which can form an absolute dark
and once you tread into the mist
The contrast is fore'er stark
because a cloud will fade
even as you follow
but between a heart and a cloud
is a bond unbreakable in man
capable of shredding a soul
and seperating a strand
A strand alone
brighter than the rays of dawn
and capable of dispatching all
of the carrion decay
And yet while cloud's cascade away
they hold the key to a glorious fall

O' may God bless the dreamer
for his path shan't be bland
and he shall be enshrined
into the promised land






1. What other functions of a cloud could I compare with a dream?

2. as far as rhythmic patterns, I was thinking about making it Iambic pentameter or at least something more defined, but decided against it. At what parts of the poem does the lack of rhythm suffer most and any suggestions on how to better it?

Life is a rollar coaster

Swathi Nanduri


Life is a Roller coaster

It spins you around sometimes it plunges you to the ground.

It thrills as it spins. It causes laughter and sometime tears.

Some freak out about it others just relax and enjoy it.

Sometimes it even gives you the chills, because of all those thrills.

It is unexpected and you never know what is after the loop.

Sometimes it stops right on the tracks or when you’re upside down.

Life is a rollarcoaster…

Is this in the correct way of writing an extended metaphor?...
What did you like the most about it?...

Extended Metaphor: A Pie I Am

I am a pie.

Unfamiliar with the filling, hidden beneath my thick brown crust, when you first see me I may not seem too favorable. But once you break through my thick outer crust and dig into my luscious filling, I am dense and warm inside. I let my heat run through your body. I may seem shy at first, but once you get to know me I am outgoing and talkative. Making people laugh and filling their hearts with joy, people become addicted to my sweetness, longing for more.

I come in a variety of flavors. Some are appealing while others are not. My most enjoyed flavor is apple, sugary and sweet, spiced with a tint of cinnamon and nutmeg. Most often I am sweet and gentle. I care for others, even if I don’t know them very well. My sweetness brings people happiness. My most despised flavor, rhubarb, brings people a quick taste of tartness, causing my victims’ faces to make a bitter expression, while pushing the plate away from them. My anger and yelling causes people to back away from me in disgust. My bulging eyes and bright red face scares them off, not wanting to take another bite. Depending on the individual, a person may or may not like one of my many flavors, but I have them all.

I am a pie. Flavored in the inside and sheltered on the outside. You must break through my crust to really get to know me. In most cases, you will find me addicting and pleasure to have in front of you, but there comes those days where the chef forgets to add the sugar and I become a bitter pie, lonely and raged.

I am a pie.



What did you find most interesting?

What can I do to improve my extended metaphor?

Life is like Chicago Weather

Life is like Chicago weather.

we excitedly prance outside of the mall wearing shorts and a T-shirt, expecting another beautiful sunny summer day.
Inner peace and contentment, facing no troubles or drama
Clouds shift over your head, far from white and fluffy.

One by one the raindrops hit you, and you never saw it coming
Severe storms including a frightening thunder and a blinding lightning hit you.
Channel 5 assured you to expect sunny with a high of 75.
Severe winds shake your once stable establishment.
Violent rains drops crash in every imaginable space, cutting you off from any source of light.

Trapped, confused, impatient.
Places to go, this storm is not scheduled into your plans
It never is
You not ready to deal with this situation.
You never are
Completely unpredictable

Maybe it’s not about acquiring the ability to prepare for the weather, or the trials life bestows upon you
Perhaps it’s about learning to dance in the rain, disregarding how many times Tom Skilling looked you in the eye and told you to leave your umbrella at home.

questions
Which point in my piece is weakest and how would you improve it?

What is another direction I could potentially take this piece in?

Extended Metaphor

Determination is an infection.
It creeps upon its host, silently,
While the victim goes about his business unsuspectingly.
Comprised of small vows and big dreams,
Determination is its own enemy.
The only thing that ever undid determination is failure.
Failure created from the ashes of burnt reservations.
Values; sacrificed, beliefs; comprimised, personality; dead
All lost in the face of blinding determination.
Which takes over its host like a gunman takes control of a hostage
Demanding perfection in all it's possibilities,
Demanding complete obedience.
Determination breeds arrogance, stirring confidence in a sick melting pot
Brewing haughtiness and contempt, it bubbles viciously, waiting
Waiting... Waiting for the chance to make one something undone
Determination is all that one fails to become


1. What thoughts does this give you about the possibile effects of too much determination?
2. What lines or sections don't flow or coincide with the rest of the piece?

Ex10ded meta4

love is an upside down book written backwards
the words are illegible, but exist
which men have spent lives trying to decode
Many people can't see that love has been lost in translation
because the act of love is getting lost in translation
But most people are too proud to love
And consider the book to be meager
just to cover up the inadequacies
that plague their silly little lives
But to those who still believe
may find at the end of the book
that their lives succeed
and that even the poorest of men
may be draped in the robes of a king
and may find their pockets full the kind of currency
that you can take with you
yes, love is a very real thing

metaphor

Our brain is a computer.

Thinking, reasoning, calculating numbers and words,

Giving us answers to life's problems,

"Just use your head," now means

"Just Google it."

The workings of both machines in our life are a mystery to most.

This is except, of course,

To the tech-whizzes and neurologists.

However the only thing the great computer inside our head cannot do,

Is print.

How can I add more lines to the metaphor? What are ideas for lines I can add?

Which part of the metaphor needs the most revision?

The Battle of the Boat

My boat sails smoothly across the surface of the ocean. The sun beats down on the ocean and the boat, warming everything it touches. The wind propels the boat, softly, subtly, and smoothly. A few hours pass by, and then suddenly a burst of wind pushes my boat to the side; as if in a pit of frustration. The gust of wind is short, but fierce. The boat continues to sail smoothly, regaining its focus. The boat seems to concentrate on the task at hand: simply just trying to sail, but then, abruptly, something happens. The wind picks up, the sky darkens. The waves climb higher. White caps begin to form, and it soon becomes extremely difficult for the boat to travel across the surface of the ocean as it once did so easily before. The boat, struggling, rocks violently over the waves, going up and down and up and down, desperately fighting to win this battle. The boat travels fast to the west, the opposite way it was once traveling. However, the boat’s persistence is consistent. The sails stay strong on the boat, the strongly built hull withstanding everything the waves thrash against it. Eventually, after a long and unforeseen struggle, the boat prevails. It stands proud.

Sometimes unexpected things happen, and there is nothing you can do about it but just learn to overcome it. Life will throw whatever it can at you, and one must always be prepared. Sometimes, just when you think life is going smoothly, a sudden twist will catch you by surprise and throw you a little off balance. However, all you need to do is stay strong, focus on your morals and your goals, and you will overcome them. Sometimes you’ll be headed down a path, but then a person will interfere and cause you to go the complete opposite direction, or a situation will leave you turned around. You might find yourself in a never-ending up and down battle. However, no matter how fierce the wind may be, no matter how large the waves may seem, you too can prevail.

1.) Which part of the piece did you like the best? Were you able to relate?

2.) Where does my piece need improvement?

Revision:

If I were to revise this piece of writing, I would change a few things. First, I could change the second paragraph or completely take it out. When I wrote the second paragraph, I assumed that the readers would not connect what I was relating the boat to, which is why I included it. However, it may seem like I am the analyzing my own metaphor, so it could be taken out. Also, I would add in a few more examples describing other situations with the boat that might help convey my metaphor of life being like a boat. Finally, I could break the piece up into separate paragraphs so that it might be easier for the readers to completely visualize what is happening in the metaphor.

The World in a Kitchen

Life is a cake, and we the bakers. The kitchen can be seen as our laboratory where we can experiment with new ideas, or alter an old recipe. In the kitchen we have total control over the decisions of what we are going to put into the batter of our cake. If we follow a recipe we can either decide to go along with tradition and follow it step by step, or we can decide to be a little daring and tweak some simple elements here or there. If we really want to take a step on the wild side and break loose we may throw all recipes out the door and create one that is all our own. No matter what we choose to do the basic ingredients that go into making a cake never changes. There is always going to be sugar, flour, eggs, and butter. So with such simple ingredients how is it that so many cakes can turn out wrong?

With any experiment the only way to assure the perfect results is to have multiple trials, otherwise known as trial and error. Baking takes the special touch of knowing just the right proportions of ingredients to amount to the perfect cake. For one to truly master the art of baking takes experimentation. No one wakes up just knowing how to bake, in fact more people usually fail at obtaining the perfect touch of baking than people who master the art. The people who can call themselves true "bakers" obtained this right through dedication and passion. They simply do not give up after a few failed attempts of baking a cake, they push on until they reach perfection. With passion and dedication they succeed at making something as wonderful as a simple cake. While this may not seem like much, how many of us are capable of this simple task?

What was your understanding of the piece?
What were some of the weakness that I could improve to make the piece stronger?

Extended Metaphor

The wind is my faith.
It is strong and powerful,
Something I can’t see, but I can feel.
A breeze brushes past my skin,
Giving a cool breath that refreshes me momentarily from the hot sun.
It circles around me and then points in its own direction.
It is much easier to walk with it, rather than try to go against it.
The wind surrounds me, even at night,
When I am all alone and in total darkness.
I still feel it. I can close my eyes and know that the wind is still there.
Unfortunately, there are times when trees don’t sway back and forth.
Wind can stop and disappear, except it never dissapoints
Because, as always, it will return once again
To point in a certain direction, so I can join the wind and walk with it.

How well does my poem flow?

Are there any changes I could make? What are they?

Extended Metaphor

Life is like a well run game of Dungeons & Dragons.
We all begin with a small bit of knowledge and a blank character sheet.
Pen in hand, you peruse the rule books, marveling at the possibilities laid out before you.
And by a throw of the dice, your immediate future is decided.
Without much more than a basic grasp of the rules, you venture out into the unknown.
Your first quest is a memorable as your latest as you drink to celebrate another job well done.
But the glory is short lived when you find yourself losing interest.
Party members come and go as everything settles into a slow repetitive cycle.
And just as you are losing yourself; drowning in sorrow and ale, you are called upon once more.
Rallied to vanquish the evil that threatens to engulf the land.
But you think that you cannot do anything, you feel sad, hopeless, lost.
Until one day, an old friend comes to visit.
They don't chastise your unexpected retirement, but talk of the days of old.
"What of that dragon in the northern lands?" he asks, "Or the cyclopes in the west?"
And by the end of the day, you are alight with new purpose; determination burning in your eyes.
Mounting your trusty steed and shouldering your weapon of choice, you ride off into the sunset once again.

4th Edition rulebooks are out in May of '08!

Questions:
Should be poem be retooled to be just a general fantasy metaphor (as of the the D&D plug doesn't do much for the piece).

Is the poem too cryptic to makes sense (i.e. can you feasibly make connections after you've dug just a little bit deeper)?

Changes
Alex Paul makes a good point about the first sentence. I would say that (looking at the comments) the poem is accessible enough to most people, but still has its head-stratching moments, which to me, makes the metaphor more realistic (well, as realistic as casting magic and slaying dragons gets). Adding in some kind of ending would be nice too, kinda like overcoming whatever hurdle you have in life and moving onto the next one.

Extended Metaphor

Jack Frost is a king,
Ruling above earth with absolute sovereignty.
He sits alone in his castle,
Teasing and tricking while plotting and scheming,
against the leaves and the trees,
who do not want to succumb to the coldness.
The leaves beg and resist, remaining firm to their branch.
But no amount of power can stop King Frost.
With a mighty blow, the leaves fall to their doom.
And are pelted with shards of his crystal clear glass.
And as the thin sheet of snow,
ends the rebellion,
Fall comes to an end,
and a new reign begins.




Questions- What do I need to fix?
How can I make my metaphor flow better?

life is a pond

Extended Metaphor: Life

Life is a small, transient pond.
When trying to examine the life of someone else, all you can see is the very surface,
But under that there is a huge depth and variety.
The surface of the pond is never perfect,
Forever marred by ripples, waves, and the troubles of everyday life.
But underneath that life is tranquil and pleasant.

The rain disturbs the pond, sometimes severely.
But with it the pond grows deeper and more complex,
More serious disturbances make life that much more filling and meaningful.
When no rain comes to replenish life,
The pond dries up, withers away, and dies.
We need events to happen for life to retain meaning.

The pond of life is never empty.
Fish are thoughts and feeling bubbling inside of us,
They rise to the conscious level and cause ripples in our lives, as thoughts trigger actions.
The winds of events create waves on the surface,
But rarely reach the murky bottom that contains our deepest secrets and desires.
But one huge storm can always cause everything to be thrown around and rearranged.

1. What are some possible comparisons between a pond and life that I did not include?

2. How could I have improved my transitions?

School is a stinky trash can

School is a trash receptacle.
At the beginning of each year you buy a brand new one.
Shiny and sleek with a reminiscent scent.
You look forward to being filled with information
and doing new things
As these things grow old however so does your trash can
Dirty from use and filling up quickly with the knowledge instilled everyday
you feel the crushing mass weighing you down.
Soon what used to be a shiny, new fresh bin
has become a soiled, smelly mess,
and only fills higher with every paper and test,
Just when you feel your about to overflow however
Trash day arrives,
A chance to sort through the congealed mass of information
and polish up that shiny bin rejuvenated for yet another week.
This repetitive process might seem overwhelming to some.
Yet one mans trash is another mans treasure
To the dumpster diver with the right mind set,
the apparently useless chaos can be harvested to find real treasure
In the form of knowledge that can take you from rags to riches.

What are some other trash related metaphorical objects I could use?
How was my usage of extended metaphor effective?