How To Fake Sick

We've all been there. It 12 o'clock on a school night and you've had a long busy day full of activities, projects, and lots of homework. Just as you are about to get ready for bed, you suddenly remember the huge physics tests that you need to study for, or the 4 page essay you need to write for English. Don't freak out and stay up until 3 in the morning to complete it, it would be a waste of time and you would be too tired to take in anything you read or write. Instead, skip school the next day! Of course, there is always the problem of parents who won't let you skip school...unless your sick! In a few easy steps, you could be on the road to procrastination!

The most effective way to begin is to pick the fake sickness you are going to act out. If you choose too many problems, like pretending you have a stomachache but limping on your left leg, your parents can call you out pretty easily. Once you have picked your sickness, walk into your parents bedroom, either early in the morning or late at night. It is best to pretend your feeling sick before school starts, so they believe you are actually coming down with something. The most effective ways I've found are to pretend you have a headache and ask for some tylenol, say you are feeling warm and shiver, or complain about a stomachache. Then go back to bed and cough loudly before you go to sleep, so they will be able to hear you.

When you wake up the next morning, depending on which sickness you are trying to pull, keep a few close items at hand. Keep a flashlight close if you are pretending to have a fever. When you parents come in to take your temperature, sneak a flashlight that has been on for awhile on top of the thermometer and voila, you have a high fever. Another direction you can take is to have the stomach flu. Early in the morning, sprint to the bathroom and pretend to get sick. Flush the toilet and then let your parents know you have the flu, and you made it to the bathroom in time. They'll be happy there's no mess and they'll also keep you home from school. You can also cough a lot and pretend to lose your voice. Blowing your nose also scores points if you are pretending to have a bad cold. Crumple a few tissues and sprawl them around your bed, to make it look like you were sick all night. The worse you sound, the better the chances are of staying home. This art takes a lot of practice, but once it is perfected it comes in handy. After you show any sign of an illness, your parents will be quick to make a call to the school. Now, you have a whole day to finish whatever test you have to study for or whatever paper you need to write, and you can sleep in. Most would agree this beats stay up until 3 a.m. and stressing yourself out, if you just follow these simple steps.