How to Get Out of a Tardy

Everyone knows the dreadful feeling of hearing the shrill of the school bell moments or maybe even a minute before entering the classroom. The worst part is finally strolling into class and feeling every eye in the room watch you suspiciously, not knowing what to make of the student who dared overstay his or her five allotted minutes away from class. Then there is the added tension of knowing that this tardy can be reported to the administrators and used against you at a future time. Here are some tips on how to get out of that situation without punishment.
Pretend that there is no problem
1. While walking into the room, offer no apologies or emotion and simply walk to your desk. Make sure not to make eye contact with anybody, and move at a normal pace.
2. Sit down quietly and get prepared quickly, at least pretend to take notes or comment on the discussion. The goal is to integrate yourself seamlessly into the class as if you were there from the beginning.
3. If a comment on your tardiness is made, simply mention “traffic” or some other typical excuse, but do not beg for mercy. Make it seem that there is no trouble with tardiness and that there was no disruption to the class, and everyone will go along with it.
In case of emergency
Sometimes, upon reaching the classroom entrance, the unlucky student finds it locked or otherwise impeded. This calls for more extreme measures.
Knock, but have a ready made story
1. Invent a story involving you being booked, pushed, or otherwise slowed in the attempt to get to class. The more believable and the less it seems like your fault, the better.
2. Knock on the door and wait for someone to open it, and then recount the story. Most people will believe it if it is a good story, but decline any offers to go to the discipline office or identify the person that hampered your progress to the class.
3. Take a seat and dive right into the class. The teacher will likely be sympathetic and not give you a tardy.
Find another way in
If that plan would fail, take faith in the principle that all rooms have more than one entrance, not all of them obvious.
1. Quickly make sure that the ceiling has panels and the room has a convenient landing place.
2. Go into a bathroom, office, closet, or other inconspicuous area and use a chair or table to increase your height. Knock out one ceiling panel and enter the space above the ceiling there. Make sure to replace the panel.
3. Crawl over to the chosen landing spot, making sure not to put too much weight on any single point. There is a small risk that the panel might break and you will be revealed.
4. When you reach the landing spot, preferably a cabinet or sturdy desk, make sure that nobody is looking and carefully lift up the ceiling panel. Descend carefully, replacing the panel.
5. Slip silently into your seat. If by some chance somebody sees you, say that you were retrieving a lost pencil or doing some other harmless task but were indeed in class on time. Except for the key statement of not being tardy, be purposely vague on why you were out of your seat and make it seem like something that happens every day.
Hopefully, none of my readers will ever find themselves in such a situation, but if so, I know my advice will help. There is nothing worse than a tardy, and there is almost never a greater relief than getting out of one. Good luck to you all.