Thursday, November 29, 2007

Extended Metaphor: The Lives of AP Students to the Colorado River

Our lives are the mighty Colorado River
Sometimes flowing lightly and gently depending on the canyon depts
Trundling along the canyon floors with calm and serenity
Our lives our like the mighty Colorado River
Sometimes rough, rapid, and unable to control
Many times we long for the freedom of time and society
We try to calm a raging storm
Looking for the sun to shine through the cracks of the gray skies
Scanning for the sight of hope
A rainbow flowing across the sky
Our lives are the mighty Colorado River
We enjoy the soft easy bends
We enjoy the warm peacefuly waters
Through areas like these do we enjoy our lives the most
We do not like the sharp jagged rocks and drowning currents
They are stabs in our hears
And struggles in our loves
We enjoy the nice peaceful waters
Our lives are the mighty Colorado River
Navigating the ups and the downs
Swimming through the twists and turns
And fighting for our lives as we try to ease them out

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Questions.

What specific changes would you make to the metaphor?

What did you think of the connection between the two subjects?

3 comments:

Jennifer Lee said...
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Justin Park said...

If i were to take this piece home tonight for revisioning, I would focus on the detailing and descrpitive aspect of the piece. Although I found myself satisfied in my unique connection between the colorado river to ap students, i thought a few added details were lacking that could be added. In the lines where i described a little bit about the flows of the river and the types of bends, surroundings, and currents of the river, I thought i could use more descriptive wording to elaborate on the subject and draw the reader in. I thought i could also go into further detail in regards to how the AP Students might feel as if they are drowning or swimming in the river, depending on its location, and specify possibly some subjects they may be struggling with.

gina lee said...

1. I really like this metaphor and how it relates to our lives, especially because all of us have at least more than one AP class. I wouldn't change anything except maybe the style it's written in? It would work well in a script format; you should try it for fun! Haha.. Just Kidding.

2. Like I mentioned before, the connection is totally relatable, especially because I'm taking soo many AP classes right now. It really is as you described, and I believe that's because we're taking the same classes ... Haha.

Questions:

1. Would the connection work if it wasn't the Colorado River?

2. What made you choose this metaphor? Were you feeling the things you wrote about?