High School and Life

High school is is our lives as we know it, and the patterns of our lives are composed inside
We wake up every single morning, ready to repeat what we did the day before
Work hard, study hard, try to get good grades, and make good friends
Adults everywhere replicate this feat every day as well, work hard and bring home the money
The teachers always tell us that high school is our job and that we should treat it as such
The first day of high school we all came in at a rather timid pace
Some frightened, others confused, but to all of us, a new and unexplored territory
It's the same story with new and young adults entering the real world
No time for play, now it is time for pay, time to start a family and get a good job
Through high school we spend and focus so much of our time on tests and study and homework
We sometimes forget to stop for a moment and take a good look around
Before we know it, this will all be over and we, just as the adults, must begin the transfer from adolescence to adulthood
Just as in life, we travel through easy times and the tough times, and at the end we look back and wonder where time has gone
The greatest problem with high school and life is that sometimes we cannot find a way to appreciate it, until time is almost up
In life we finally reach our middle age stage and have kids and a house, but life is still hard and the same repetition remains
It's junior year, the hardest year of all and frankly school sometimes sucks, tests become harder, social lives disappear
At last it is time for retirement, the kids are out of the house, there is money in the bank for a house in florida
Finally, it is time to relax and enjoy the lifestyle that we have spent all of our time working for
It's senior year, time to goof off and chill and enjoy our last few quarters at a school where we have spent most of the last 4 years
Now time is up, it is time for graduation and we all must move on to the next stage of life
We have spent our entire lives waiting to enjoy life itself, and now it's almost over, in an old and decrepit stage in life
Unable to now enjoy and relish in the great life that has been created by a life time of hard work
Point is, stop and enjoy life, no one knows how it is all going to end up, take a long look around and cherish the time that we have
As for the real world, the only way to not get screwed over like the rest of society, marry rich or make it big in the business world, that's all I have to offer.


1. What can I do to make this flow better?
2. Where does it hold your interest and what needs to be changed?



Revision
If i were to go back and revise my extended metaphor, I would change and fix my metaphor according to my groups comments and analysis. First I would make my purpose very clear so the the reader would not get lost in translation. Next I would make sure to use more transitions and prepositions so that certain sentences and ideas would not become jumbled together and confuse the reader. Overall I liked how my metaphor turned out, but there is always room for improvement, the main problem with my metaphor is that I jump between points in a persons life. My original purpose in doing this was to show the reader how I am comparing high school to a persons life all of the way up to retirement. I guess that it was not made clear and now looking back I can see how the reader might become confused. Otherwise thanks for the advice.