Thursday, November 29, 2007

Extended Metaphor

Life is like a balloon
It starts out wrinkly and small,
An infant waiting to be filled with knowledge of the world
As each day passes, more information is pumped into the little child
He grows bigger, and stronger, and more confident
He's able to hold his own against his peers,
Like a giant balloon bouquet
Soon, however, the child is filled to what he thinks is capacity
The information becomes too much and he feels as if he will burst
He grows larger, and larger, as he is required to take on more tasks
Some children grow past this stage
Of feeling like they are on the edge of popping
They are filled to the brim and tied off with a pretty ribbon
They live their prime, and then shrink in size
Regaining their wrinkles
And returning, essentially, to their infant state
However, some balloons POP! before this stage
Sometimes, I think, we all just want to pop.


Alex Huang said...

Dude, V, is there a reason you used 'he' instead of 'she' even though you're a girl? Sure, that may sound like a stupid question, but I'm wondering if it was a conscious choice.

Colleen V. said...

1. Was my metaphor too sinister with the POPing at the end?

2. How could I have lengthened my metaphor and use more imagery?

Anonymous said...

1. No, I think the popping at the end was appropriate, yet is thats some allusion to like suicide or something, or just dying?
2. I would have included something about difference between people with like helium/air balloons, how helium balloons rise and stuff...i dunno just seems like that would provide good metaphor lolz.

Anonymous said...

Q's- 1. Do you want to "pop" before your wrinkly?
2. What made you choose balloons as your metaphor?

Colleen V. said...

If I could revise my poem, I would take Alex Jin's suggestions. I would include distinctions between helium and air balloon lifestyles. I had thought of separating the two types of balloons, but I couldn't figure out how. Describing helium balloon "people" as those who can rise above adversity would add a great message to my paper and perhaps remove the sinister implications I was worried about. However, I think I would still revise the POPing part, and add that just because we want to pop doesn't mean we should. I definitely don't want people to think the poem is too pessimistic.

robert kramer said...

1. I didn't think the poem was too sinister, that was an accurate description.

2. You could have used , more details on the balloon, like the significance of outer designs. Does the balloon float?

Is this a comparison between life and a ballloon or between a person and a balloon?

What is "bursting" an analogy for?

jill prejna said...

1. I dont think that it was too sinister. It took your metaphor to a new level causing the audience to setermine for theirself what "poping" means.

2. Describing the balloon itself as it inflates would add a new element to your piece. Color, texture, shape, would all add to your piece but overall i thought it was well written.

What exactly does bursting mean?

Is more pumped into the childs mind besides information?

Alex Huang said...

Dude, V, if D&D ceased to exist, a good amount of the population would lose their purpose in life!