Thursday, November 29, 2007
Extended Metaphor
Jack Frost is a king,
Ruling above earth with absolute sovereignty.
He sits alone in his castle,
Teasing and tricking while plotting and scheming,
against the leaves and the trees,
who do not want to succumb to the coldness.
The leaves beg and resist, remaining firm to their branch.
But no amount of power can stop King Frost.
With a mighty blow, the leaves fall to their doom.
And are pelted with shards of his crystal clear glass.
And as the thin sheet of snow,
ends the rebellion,
Fall comes to an end,
and a new reign begins.
Questions- What do I need to fix?
How can I make my metaphor flow better?
Ruling above earth with absolute sovereignty.
He sits alone in his castle,
Teasing and tricking while plotting and scheming,
against the leaves and the trees,
who do not want to succumb to the coldness.
The leaves beg and resist, remaining firm to their branch.
But no amount of power can stop King Frost.
With a mighty blow, the leaves fall to their doom.
And are pelted with shards of his crystal clear glass.
And as the thin sheet of snow,
ends the rebellion,
Fall comes to an end,
and a new reign begins.
Questions- What do I need to fix?
How can I make my metaphor flow better?
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3 comments:
Nope. You can compare any two things/concepts.
1. I think this is good. Your comparison is very clear and you stuck to the same topic throughout the entire peom.
2. Since it is a poem try using stanzas, otherwise I think it flowed pretty well.
1) Why did you choose to compare Jack Frost to a king?
2) Do the leaves represent the people? If not what?
1.I think your metaphor was written very well, and the only advice i would give is to make it longer.
2. It flowed very well because you went from fall to winter, and included good transitions through out.
1. What gave you the idea to compare jack frost to the end of fall, rather than the middle of winter?
2. Why do you think Jack Frost has absolute sovereignty?
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